Some people go through life governed by logic.  Their passions are constantly being weighed and measured through analysis and realism.  What do I want?  How do I get there?  What are the possible outcomes?  Does this make sense? Their journey is steady and smooth.  For myself, life is a series of extremes.  The voice within that whispers when all else is quiet will persistently beckon until I react in one path-changing swoop, leaving my brain with an aftermath of conflicting emotions and reasoning.  Such is my life at the moment.  I am left with the overwhelming question: "What am I doing?"
    Two weeks ago, I woke up, closed my fitness-training business, and started up a blog in one swift punch.  All throughout the day I was high on passion, feeling fulfilled and complete.  I acted without hesitation or remorse.  I was riding the poetry of my soul, without a care in the world. The next day, however, my inner-ego kicked in.
  "I'm deleting my blog." I said to my husband as I paced nervously around the house, searching for anything to distract me from my insecurities.
"Here we go," He mutters under his breath.  (Yes, it's not the first time my leap first/ think later approach to life has left me in this predicament.  He was prepared). "What are you freaking out about now?"
"I'm not freaking out.  I just don't want to do it anymore.  I wasn't thinking." I said, scouring the counters for something to clean.
"You are a nut." he replied. "Cuckoo for Coco-puffs!!"
"Don't dirty up my mental breakdown with your pseudo-food!" I charged back.  (Okay, I admit I'm a little imbalanced).
"Fine.  Why do you want to take it down?  You love writing."
"Well, I did, but.... I don't know."
"You are acting like a scared little kid.  Look at you.  What is the big deal?"
"I don't know what to write! I'm not that interesting, and I really don't know what I'm doing! I'm just trying to figure life out like everyone else. This was a stupid idea!"
"I thought you said you didn't want to plan it.  You were just going to write whatever you felt like writing for the day."
"I know, but... I might suck."
"You won't suck.  I bet you have gotten an A on every paper you've ever written."
"That's different.  Your teacher gives you an outline, you fill in the blanks, and you get an A based on how well you follow directions."
"I don't remember it being that easy."
"Well... I don't feel comfortable knowing that people are reading it. I've always just written for myself."
"You said this was for yourself."
"I know what I said!! And it is.... but..."
"Are you scared of sucking, or are you scared of people reading it?  Because if you suck, then nobody will read it."
"I am much more comfortable with that than the alternative."
"The alternative being that you are successful? Do you know how crazy you sound?"
"Yes.  I don't need you to point it out.  Leave me alone in my moment of self-torture...  I'm going to go workout."

Today's workout:

WARM-UP

1 mile run
15 squats/pushups/pullups/dips
30 situps
10 toes to bar- controlled drop
10 assisted ring pullups to stomach
5 ring pull-throughs with negatives

SKILLS

PVC snatch warm-up

First with a 30# bar, then 50#:
Overhead squat
Hang snatch
Snatch press
Snatch balance

5 snatches (70#)

TIMED WORKOUT

For 10 minutes, complete the following:

Odd minutes: 6 power snatches (70#)
Even minutes: 6 clean and jerks (70#)



Finish: 
work on consecutive muscle-ups
Yoga